Exposing Fear and Removing It's LeadershipNov 19, 2020
Hey everybody! Covid quarantined Debs writing to you today…
There are so many ideas that have come up in my heart as Noah and I recover from this awful virus! We have spent so much time resting and trying to honor our limitations. Even though we diligently practice rest, these few weeks already feel challenging on a whole new level. I will talk more about “forced” rest next week… but for now, let’s dive into exposing some fear. :)
I was complaining to Noah the other day about how I feel mediocre at everything I do. My piano playing has not improved in the last five years, my culinary skills seem to have plateaued, and this new venture of trying to learn the basics of design feels so tiring. We kept on chatting and I realized… more than just being lazy, I was afraid.
I admitted in that moment that I was afraid to start something new.
I gave into the falsehoods of one of my biggest fears: YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
This led me to exposing an unhelpful mindset: WHY TRY?
“You will never be enough, so why try?”
This fear made way for a doubt and this doubt was at the forefront of my mind as I made choices regarding my creativity. Fear became my leader. Let’s talk about the nature of fear.
It comes and whispers it’s cunning lies. It kills your dreams. It tells you that you are too much or not enough and it paralyzes you. Fear’s goal is to keep you from any movement and to stunt your growth. However, fear can be a gift, in fact it was meant to be a gift to us, but we have allowed it to take a place it was never meant to have. Before you know it, fear is dictating simple decisions like whether or not you should publish that book of poetry, release that song on Spotify, or even take the time to perfect that recipe you’ve been working on. It is the thing that most often creates a barrier from the pen to the page.
If you are weighed down by the fear of failure, you will never risk on a dream in your heart.
If you are paralyzed by the fear of other’s opinions, you will be trapped in a cycle of insecurity.
If you are afraid of success, you will constantly dumb yourself down.
The list goes on and on. When fear becomes your leader, you take on limits that were never meant for your life.
Let me ask you, what fear’s are leading in your mind today?
This takes some investigating work! Here is a simple tool that might help expose some fears.
Tool: “Who is leading?”
The next time you hear a negative, limiting, or self destructive thought come across your mind. Take hold of it, write it down and reflect on these steps to see if there might be a hidden fear trying to paralyze you.
What you need:
- 15 min
- Some quiet or beautiful music to make a creative atmosphere
- Pen and page
What to ask:
- What is the destructive thought and what did it stop you from doing?
- What are you afraid of?
- Name the fear (write it out plainly and simply)
- Expose where it has been leading in your life? What other areas of your life are led by this fear?
- Gently surrender the fear and take a moment to flood your mind with truth
- Take a moment of silence and allow yourself to prove your fear wrong by trying to accomplish the very thing you were scared of in the first place.
Today I heard the self destructive thought that said, “ I will always be mediocre at the things I do.” It stopped me from practicing piano and working on an unfinished design in photoshop. So I take a moment to pause and honor my heart. I feel like there is this invisible bar I never hit and that exhausts me. It is hard for me to try new things because I feel so afraid of not meeting the expectations I set for myself. I have created this reality where if I am not the best, I should not try at all. It stops me from learning new things and improving. It often leads me to comparison. I am afraid of not being enough. I see this in my relationships, my creativity, and my dreams.
The truth is: I am enough. It’s okay for me to fail. There is enough time for me to learn something slowly. I am not running out of time. I can ask for help and it's okay if the process is messy. I am meant for greatness and beauty. I am capable of doing hard things and learning new things.
The goal is to fashion bravery in your heart. Fears are meant to be faced and channeled into the right place of your heart. You will constantly feel blocked if fears are leading your life. In order to get to the other side, you need to expose the hidden mindsets you have been believing. Once those are tended to, I promise that creating will feel easier and filled with more freedom. I challenge you to take hold of every limiting thought that comes across your mind and flesh it out to see if there is something deeper! The pressure is off and it’s simply time for you to bring dignity and honor to your heart. Fear needs to be put in its rightful place, allowing truth to finally lead in your life.
Well anyways... I am off to some other OLIVEHOME business and from there, we will finish the 6th book in the Harry Potter series and continue recovering! No spoilers!!
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